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Title: Jack T. Chicks - Hot Chicks parodies
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MothandRust
 Author    



From: Australia
Registered: 27/02/2004
Time spent: 0 hours

(Date Posted:30/04/2007 16:10:19)

Remember thoseJack T Chicktract comic books your mum used to give you to scare you into being good and Christian? This fundy propaganda did to Christianity whatRobert Crumbdid to alley cats. I love finding parodies of these psychotic littlecomics, and the ironic thing is that they're originally unintentional parodies of the Catholic hating fundamentalist doctrines. Millions of these things have been distributed around the world and they're completely freaky shite. I don't know what bewilders me more... that they're designed in comic format to appeal and scare kids or that the writer completely believes and sells this version of reality.I've just been looking through the Jack tracts on his website and having a great time. It's a unique style all of his own. What really tickled me is many of the comic books are completely redrawn to appeal to black audiences. Obviously black people won't relate to people being thrown into hell fire unless they see black people depicted so. Even the angels are black in the black version. Jack Chick thought of everything. Yep, hell is for all races! yay! The devil looks cooler in the 'black people' version. What do you think?Click here for white people being sent to HellClick here to see black people sent to HellAnd those one's weren't the parodies. I'm not joking. The following tract takes place after a no good non-Christian guy name Bobby dies after admitting he had nothing to live for. This death is a great opportunity for Ol' Freddy Fanatic to preach to a young freckled face kid who is hanging around with an older smarmy arrogant non-Christian jerk."Haw haw" was how atheists used to laugh when this tract was written. Nowadays we snort and guffaw.Actually, the man in black is making a lot of sense, but he's about to syphon nicotine through his lungs and potentially harm his body, so we know he's a bad guy, hey kids? Plus, he's wearing black - a dead give-away. Oh, and he's blowing smoke into the Christian's face. . Doesn't he know passive smoking is supposed to be bad.Understanding the bible means ignoring the contradictions and arguing at ambulance scenes. I think there might be some sort of homosexual relationship hinted at in this tract. It sort of looks like Bruce Wayne and his ward, Dick Grayson.Christ invaded our planet?I knew he was some sort of Alien. E.T. was actually based on the bible (remember the part where E.T. dies and rises again?) Jesus was always trying to phone home and light his finger up. It's a little known fact that Jesus had a pot belly too.Apparently the approximate year4370is going to be a big year for remembering the first time you read a Chick tract comic book.Luckily Christians revel in being persecuted, but still a cheap shot. Nasty atheist Bruce Wayne.Warning: never discuss theology and drive or you're a "Bloody Idiot"Jack Chick is a bible expert. He knows there's no such place as purgatory. He's not falling for any of that purgatory crap. What nonsense.. purgatory... pffft. The giant white thrown? Now that's for real!Oh CRAP! Where the hell was the Scooby gang? Where was Fred and Daphne and the hippy guy when this villain was wearing masks in some amazing skkullduggery that even foiled those pesky darned kids. It was Lucifer all along. What a twist! I didn't see that one coming, and he's an ugly bugger too. I wonder why the devil has horns. Does he use them to defend himself?Ex-Christian.netrecently posted some youtubes of some of the Chick Tracts Films. They played all together at some film festivals (including the LA Film Festival, and Outfest, and some New York Festival as well). You can learn more about them atwww.316now.com. Always remember, Jesus loves you more than you can possibly comprehend. But, if for any reason whatsoever you don't come to accept the correct version of Christianity while still breathing air, then that loving god-man is going to make you suffer the most horrific and demented fate ever conceived. There will be no chance of parole or escape. You will not even be allowed to die. You will be tormented and tortured forever..Unconditional love and grace: Isn't it truly amazing?

--------------------------------------------------------------
Be nice, for everyone that you meet is fighting a harder battle - Anita Roddick

MothandRust
1# 



From: Australia
Registered:27/02/2004
Time spent: 0 hours


(Date Posted:30/04/2007 16:10:23)

Remember those Jack T Chick tract comic books your mum used to give you to scare you into being good and Christian? This fundy propaganda did to Christianity what Robert Crumb did to alley cats. I love finding parodies of these psychotic little comics, and the ironic thing is that they're originally unintentional parodies of the Catholic hating fundamentalist doctrines. Millions of these things have been distributed around the world and they're completely freaky shite. I don't know what bewilders me more... that they're designed in comic format to appeal and scare kids or that the writer completely believes and sells this version of reality.
I've just been looking through the Jack tracts on his website and having a great time. It's a unique style all of his own. What really tickled me is many of the comic books are completely redrawn to appeal to black audiences. Obviously black people won't relate to people being thrown into hell fire unless they see black people depicted so. Even the angels are black in the black version. Jack Chick thought of everything. Yep, hell is for all races! yay! The devil looks cooler in the 'black people' version. What do you think?
And those one's weren't the parodies. I'm not joking. The following tract takes place after a no good non-Christian guy name Bobby dies after admitting he had nothing to live for. This death is a great opportunity for Ol' Freddy Fanatic to preach to a young freckled face kid who is hanging around with an older smarmy arrogant non-Christian jerk.
"Haw haw" was how atheists used to laugh when this tract was written. Nowadays we snort and guffaw.
Actually, the man in black is making a lot of sense, but he's about to syphon nicotine through his lungs and potentially harm his body, so we know he's a bad guy, hey kids? Plus, he's wearing black - a dead give-away. Oh, and he's blowing smoke into the Christian's face. . Doesn't he know passive smoking is supposed to be bad.

Page 8

Understanding the bible means ignoring the contradictions and arguing at ambulance scenes. I think there might be some sort of homosexual relationship hinted at in this tract. It sort of looks like Bruce Wayne and his ward, Dick Grayson.

Page 9

Christ invaded our planet? I knew he was some sort of Alien. E.T. was actually based on the bible (remember the part where E.T. dies and rises again?) Jesus was always trying to phone home and light his finger up. It's a little known fact that Jesus had a pot belly too.

Page 11

Apparently the approximate year 4370 is going to be a big year for remembering the first time you read a Chick tract comic book.

Page 12

Luckily Christians revel in being persecuted, but still a cheap shot. Nasty atheist Bruce Wayne.

Page 14

Warning: never discuss theology and drive or you're a "Bloody Idiot"

Page 18

Jack Chick is a bible expert. He knows there's no such place as purgatory. He's not falling for any of that purgatory crap. What nonsense.. purgatory... pffft. The giant white thrown? Now that's for real!

Page 22

Oh CRAP! Where the hell was the Scooby gang? Where was Fred and Daphne and the hippy guy when this villain was wearing masks in some amazing skkullduggery that even foiled those pesky darned kids. It was Lucifer all along. What a twist! I didn't see that one coming, and he's an ugly bugger too. I wonder why the devil has horns. Does he use them to defend himself?

Ex-Christian.net recently posted some youtubes of some of the Chick Tracts Films. They played all together at some film festivals (including the LA Film Festival, and Outfest, and some New York Festival as well). You can learn more about them at www.316now.com. Always remember, Jesus loves you more than you can possibly comprehend. But, if for any reason whatsoever you don't come to accept the correct version of Christianity while still breathing air, then that loving god-man is going to make you suffer the most horrific and demented fate ever conceived. There will be no chance of parole or escape. You will not even be allowed to die. You will be tormented and tortured forever.
.
Unconditional love and grace: Isn't it truly amazing?

--------------------------------------------------------------
Be nice, for everyone that you meet is fighting a harder battle - Anita Roddick

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gordonliv
2# 



Rank:none
Score:988
Posts:988
Registered:05/09/2006
Time spent: 0 hours


(Date Posted:30/04/2007 20:26:37)

This stuff is awesome!

So persuasive! So intellectually sound! I've never known such a comprehensive defeat of any atheist philosophy!

Jesus's massage was getting so lost in the general background noise of sin and iniquity, it's great to know he could always call on Batman for help. Now I realise the error of my ways. Don't want to end up with that weird guy throwing me off a cliff! That'd be dreadful. Thank goodness Jesus loved me enough to... what did it say?... spill his blood for me and wash away my sins and all of that other stuff. Phew! That was close!

Holy comic books, Batman!

Nananananananana, nananananananana, JEEZURZ!

God be praised!

--------------------------------------------------------------
Can God make a stone which he cannot lift...?

franknhonest
3# 



Rank:none
Score:175
Posts:175
Registered:29/08/2001
Time spent: 6900 hours


(Date Posted:15/05/2007 01:45:21)

LOL.  Ever noticed how the Bible says being born again is due to a divine influence blowing where it will (John 3 v 8), whereas the Bible bashers keep making it out to be something YOU must do.

Evangelism is just emotional manipulation - nothing more.

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Cider Vicar
4# 



Rank:none
Score:104
Posts:104
Registered:23/03/2007
Time spent: 0 hours


(Date Posted:26/08/2007 00:51:41)

Reply to : gordonliv



This stuff is awesome!So persuasive! So intellectually sound! I've never known such a comprehensive defeat of any atheist philosophy!Jesus's massage was getting so lost in the general background noise of sin and iniquity, it's great to know he could always call on Batman for help. Now I realise the error of my ways. Don't want to end up with that weird guy throwing me off a cliff! That'd be dreadful. Thank goodness Jesus loved me enough to... what did it say?... spill his blood for me and wash away my sins and all of that other stuff. Phew! That was close!Holy comic books, Batman!Nananananananana, nananananananana,JEEZURZ!God be praised!




I used to read Chick tracts but then one day I saw the light and burnt the lot of them! What a load of crap went in the fire that day!!

--------------------------------------------------------------
The journey of life is too exciting to keep ones eyes closed

Guest



RE:Jack T. Chicks - Hot Chicks parodies
(Date Posted:30/03/2008 20:58:39)

The day will come when you die, my friend. You will find out for sure the TRUTH

but it'll be eternally too late. Sorry! Joke, laugh and have fun "now" for when you
take your last breath, the fun will be over and you'll face judgement. You brought it
on yourself. For God so loved the world (even you)that

He gave His ONLY SON that WHOSOEVER believeth in Him should not perish but
have EVERLASTING LIFE. Your choice now while you're breathing, Heaven or hell??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

Choose Heaven and life
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